Just Cause

There are a ton of ways to improve oneself. There are tens of thousands of self help books that are written by everybody. It seems like if you have even an ounce of juice then you're penning some self-help title. From Oprah all the way down to your town's transgender that fancies him/herself a writer, everyone's in on the improvement game. In addition to books, there's a plethora of life gurus out there like Tony Robbins and Richard Carlson that are trying to improve upon our collective quality of life, albeit while removing an untold sum of cash from our bank account in the process, but still. There's even therapy and medication that can assist with the whole idea of improving one's mental well being. Well, now you can add me to the lengthy list of life leaders, because I'm about to drop a hot bit of knowledge on you that will undoubtedly improve your position in this world. 

Dress the part. That's it. That's the nugget of knowledge. What do I mean? I mean, don't do what an 17 year-old did the other day when he walked into our store and asked for an application while wearing a t-shirt that said "The Way High Patrol." Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying apply at your local Taco Bell in a three piece suit, cuff-links and a bowler hat. I'm just saying bypass the shirt in your dresser drawer that makes reference to how you like to hit the reefer. The flat billed hat that makes the proclamation that Mexico is superior to America might be a touch over the top too. I'm not overly patriotic, but suggesting you fancy a country that's run by an organization that mules heroin into neighboring countries by using the stomachs of toddlers as mobile fanny packs might be a mistake. 

This doesn't just apply to fast food gigs either. The same code applies for when you want an office job. Show up in dress pants and a button up shirt. Don't submit your application while sporting beige corduroy shorts, a My Chemical Romance t-shirt and an oversized belt buckle that spells out "Fuck You" in chrome lettering. And yes, that happened too. You would think that this advice would be self-explanatory, but apparently it isn't, because this kid actually applied in this creative attire. And his application artistically expressed itself down to the bottom of our store dumpster because of it too. It didn't forge its own path there, though. The document needed a hearty assist from an individual that didn't think his love of smoking spliffs ran counter to his hirability. 

This is just the first of what I'm going to prematurely proclaim will be many nuggets of wisdom that I'll be dropping, so expect more life altering lessons from what I'm going to affectionately call, 'Wayne's Wisdom.'